No, that's not a joke.
I'm sick, so I feel god awful.
Plus, my depression has been like on high.
I'd take my medicine to help it, but I don't like the way it makes me feel.
When I take my prozac I feel like... all hyper.
My grandparents think I get hyper on days when I don't take it.
They just don't know I never take it.
But, normally my depression is in check.
I'm actually better.
But, all I can think about is all the people I've hurt (or tried to hurt) because of my depression :|
Then, I get around to thinking about nothing except all the things I've missed out on.
I know I can redeem myself from all that stuff.
It just seems so hard at times.
Why?
Cause I don't even like 60% of the things I missed out on.
I just am full of what if's...
But, what's worse is that the rest of my time is spent thinking about how huge I'm going to seem to all the people at school :(
The people who haven't seen me all summer.
They'll say I still look the same as always.
Some might still tell me to eat.
But, I do that naturally.
140 is my new most hated number.
Guys aren't like this.
And even then I'm recovered.
I always eat.
I don't really want to get stuck in that trap.
Not again.
On another, better, more positive hand, I haven't cut in almost two monthes.
I think this time I might really be through with that.
I mean, I've gone 8 monthes before.
But, I don't collect sharp things anymore.
I can't remember a time before now when I didn't collect sharp stuff.
I still sleep with a razor under my pillow.
But that's because I feel safe with it there
And, I guess I don't literally sleep with one under my pillow.
I think it's somewhere under my bed with sticks of glue from seventh grade, smokes from eighth, and empty beer cans from ninth.
Oh yes, I went there.
I went all the way there :P
Meh, what I'm trying to say is that I've been miserable lately, but all and all, I feel like life is getting better.
I'm probably just having loads of panic attacks and stuff from school starting up again.
In a way, tat's what it all boils down too.
School... is gonna' be strange this year.
Very strange...
Today, I introduce ya' to the beauty of Floppy Dee :D
Oh yeah, I also wanted to say I'm a bit sorry for my last post on "I Hate Twilight". I still agree with a lot of what I said, but, I also realize that saying it was pointless and uneeded.
I'm sick, so I feel god awful.
Plus, my depression has been like on high.
I'd take my medicine to help it, but I don't like the way it makes me feel.
When I take my prozac I feel like... all hyper.
My grandparents think I get hyper on days when I don't take it.
They just don't know I never take it.
But, normally my depression is in check.
I'm actually better.
But, all I can think about is all the people I've hurt (or tried to hurt) because of my depression :|
Then, I get around to thinking about nothing except all the things I've missed out on.
I know I can redeem myself from all that stuff.
It just seems so hard at times.
Why?
Cause I don't even like 60% of the things I missed out on.
I just am full of what if's...
But, what's worse is that the rest of my time is spent thinking about how huge I'm going to seem to all the people at school :(
The people who haven't seen me all summer.
They'll say I still look the same as always.
Some might still tell me to eat.
But, I do that naturally.
140 is my new most hated number.
Guys aren't like this.
And even then I'm recovered.
I always eat.
I don't really want to get stuck in that trap.
Not again.
On another, better, more positive hand, I haven't cut in almost two monthes.
I think this time I might really be through with that.
I mean, I've gone 8 monthes before.
But, I don't collect sharp things anymore.
I can't remember a time before now when I didn't collect sharp stuff.
I still sleep with a razor under my pillow.
But that's because I feel safe with it there
And, I guess I don't literally sleep with one under my pillow.
I think it's somewhere under my bed with sticks of glue from seventh grade, smokes from eighth, and empty beer cans from ninth.
Oh yes, I went there.
I went all the way there :P
Meh, what I'm trying to say is that I've been miserable lately, but all and all, I feel like life is getting better.
I'm probably just having loads of panic attacks and stuff from school starting up again.
In a way, tat's what it all boils down too.
School... is gonna' be strange this year.
Very strange...
Today, I introduce ya' to the beauty of Floppy Dee :D
Oh yeah, I also wanted to say I'm a bit sorry for my last post on "I Hate Twilight". I still agree with a lot of what I said, but, I also realize that saying it was pointless and uneeded.
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