The Day Is Today

On: Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Firstly, yeah, I'm depressed right now.
The doctor took me off the prozac, and it's finally all gotten out of my system.
And, I've pretty much been having the most awfully miserable thoughts.
I still have some prozac left, so I'm going to talk to my grandma about letting me keep taking it for now.
I see the doctor again in about 3 weeks, so I'll be able to talk to him about the fact that even if the prozac does seem to make me have more panic attacks when I take it, I'd rather that than being miserable.

I am starting to think all shrinks might be stupid. The first one I had only checked his email (and one time he was looking at his Myspace!!!) when I went there.
So, we got rid of him after the third visit.

The doctor I have now just took me off the prozac.
Most anybody who knows anything about medicine knows that the only way you should take some one off an anti-depressant is over time. Not just throw them off it.

It gets worse when he gave me xanax knowing that I'm susceptible to addiction (anorexia, self injury). Meds that help with panic attacks have extremely high addiction rates. I mean, it's the only pill that I've ever seen warning against addiction right on the bottle (and, with all the problems my family has, I have seen a lot of pill bottles).

I don't get how they allow stupid people into the medicine practice >:(
Course, I also must admit that now adays every body seems to have something wrong with them.

So, that is my current mental state.
Onto something more interesting.

I always bug my friends about about checking out my blog and lovingly refer to it as "whoring" my blog :p
But, today one of my friends (hereinto referred to as Macey :p if she reads this) told me that she looks at my posts, but doesn't comment on them because I don't post about anything that is easy to comment to.

I took a lot of liberties in paraphrasing that because my memory sucks. But, that is what I got from her speak.

I mean, a comment doesn't have to be long.
It doesn't have to be true.
It just has to be a comment.

Like you could say, "That sucks."

And, when my gMail says I have a new comment, I'd still be more than happy.

Comments don't have to start a disscussion.
They just have to be a comment.
If it was the other way around, the button wouldn't say "0 comments".
It'd say something like "0 discussions".

Wow, my blog's starting to act like it's about "How to work and use a blog" :p
Guess that's because of how much I'm writing about my work in getting my blog out there.

Meh. My brain has run dry of thoughts for the day.

meh, I feel a little emo today :p

Also, sorry but that's the only free song they have.
It's still good though

grrr, I'm becoming obsessive with my editing.
I probably just fixed twelve different mistakes on four different occasions :p

Just a little question...

On: Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I've been searching around Mybloglog, looking at people's blogs and such.
But, some people have this weird thing where they for some strange reason have decided to either 1. Not allow comments, or 2. Completely block off the blog so it can't be seen.

To me, that doesn't make sense.
In my eyes the entire concept of a blog is to give input, and then receive output.

Having a blog with just input, but no output makes it a website.
So why have the blog?
Or, not really that, but why put it in blog listings?
A blog that can't be commented on is just a website.
There was a time when you call a blog that you can't comment on a website.
But those times are long gone.

Now, a blog is a tool for both input and output.

Then, on blogs that are blocked off from the general public.
That's stupid.
If you build a blog that is only for your friends to see, why not just tell them in person, or on the phone, or on facebook.
You don't have to waste space on the internet.
And, you definitely don't have to put it in a blog listing.

Maybe though, I take to much of an OJ Simpson approach to blogging.
I truly blog so I can say If I Did It, Here's How it Happened.
I think that if I do anything, or think anything, and don't feel like the world can be allowed to know it, it must be wrong.

I know there's things you shouldn't talk about, so I don't talk about those things.
I understand that there's things that are so normal that it's pointless to talk about them.
If I didn't my blog would pretty much be about my bowel movements, what I ate, and the fact that I have fingers (how else would I type?)

.....nevermind that question :p

The point is, I believe blogging is a social thing, and if you're not going to use it as such. What's the point?

On: Monday, August 4, 2008

I was planning my blog entry for yesterday (is that even correct English?), but then I got up in Mybloglog it's pretty much just a way to get your blog noticed, and I think it works... a little.
My blog isn't really anything that most people would want to check out every day or anything, but I still love comments :p

So, I've been giving that a try, and it's at least getting me some hits.
Comments, nah, but hits are good too.

Anyways, I've been working on making even a tiny dent in the Blogosphere.
Do they even it call it that anymore?
Yeah, it's that hard to keep up with the internet.
It's even harder when you have a rat trying to type for you -.-
And by type I mean "bbbbbbbbbbsdakjf" -.-
Oh well, I love Toshiba. Even if he hasn't quite figured out that my fingers are not food.

I digress, today I haven't done much.
I joined this pretty awesome site called Tumblr.
It's kind of like Twitter, but better for actual blogging.
A lot of people use Twitter to just say what they're doing.
That's because Twitter thinks that if you can't say it in 140 words, it's not worth saying.
But with Tumblr I can post any random thought, link, quote or picture or video.
I'm not limited.
So, Tumblr is for a newer type of blogging called "Life Streaming".

To be honest, I'm not sure how new life streaming is because some people refer to the way Tumblr works as the way older blogs worked
"They remind me of an older style of blogging, back when people did sites by hand..."
Jason Kottke
And, I can see how that  would make sense.
In the ealier days of blogging. Posting was less organized, and less corporate.
A "web log" was normally just a list of what happened, or a list of interests, or a list of this and that.
Early internet wasn't based around multimedia. It was based around text that was added at sporadic occasions by people who knew how to code a website.
That's why it was called a Web Log, or occasionally simply a journal, or diary.
But, I'm going to try to use Tumblr to pretty much just archive my daily life (and any thing I find that interests me), while this blog gets to be the center point of my thoughts... well, and my music... and my pictures... and my... oh, this is the biggest part. Tumblr is a side thing of interests and events :p
Also, my Tumblr is on the side panel to the right.
The thing that says liveblog.
Also, about my review of Xubuntu.
XFCE seems mostly like a slightly less organized, slightly more complicated version of GNOME.
But, it opens programs so fast that I'm gonna' stick with it for a while.
But, for people looking for a good Linux distro, Ubuntu seems the most stable.
Some people practically worship Opensuse, but everytime I've tried to use it, it crashes on me.
I might as well get to the music

How about something Ambient?

That should offset someof the harder stuff I've been having on here ;]

Some Interesting Points

On: Saturday, August 2, 2008

Other than the fact that yes, the Xanax seems to combat some of my problems, it does seem to lower my appetite even more :|
It also makes me slightly more dehydrated -.-

But, that is not what this blog is about.
Firstly, last night I looked into changing blogging sites.
For those who don't know, right now I use Blogger.

Firstly I looked into Livejournal, but quickly decided it was way to complicated for my simple mind :P
Plus, it revolved around social interactions.
Which I find pointless in a blog.

So, I went to Wordpress which had a login that said "Already Hip?"
I was like, "No, but I want to be hip. Sounds like it'd be cool."
Well, Wordpress was complicated at first, but after a half hour of messing with it, I managed to import my posts from Blogger to Wordpress.
Okay, so check out my blog which I had already customized to look nice and simple.

Scan my old posts... some thing is messing.

All of the flash code for my Jamendo playlists had vanished!

But, I decided to not let something small like that get in my way.
I would just go an re-add all the code.
Nothing way to big.

But, I tried it on one playlist, and then hit "Save".
Checked my blog.
About then I was getting pissed off.
But, I had started to actually like the way Wordpress was set up.
So, I did as much searcing as I could on how to add the Jamendo playlist.

I was super upset by now.
So, I just said screw it, and made my way back to the best blogging service for people who actually use media in they're blogs :D

But, for Web2.0 I would like to show ya' a nice search engine.


This is an awesome search engine that pretty much searches like any other search enigine, but then it shows you the results in a nice coverflow form.
Then, you can make personal "Stacks" which hold searches divded in pretty much any way you want.

Like, here's my stack for Wikipedia articles of medicines that I take or have taken (trust, that is useful for me)

Then, here's another stack of mine that is just a handful of sites that I find help ease boredom :P

Right now though, your stacks are saved in your "Flash Cache" which basically means if you delete your cookies, you will lose your stacks. They're saying they're working on that though.


Today I would like to show ya' All:My:Faults.
It's a good German band that kinda' sounds like a less industrial/techno version of NDH with a very strong mixing of British Metalcore.


On: Friday, August 1, 2008

My whole head. No, my whole body they ache.
This Strattera sucks.
No, worse than sucks.
All day I have been in a physical and mental mess.
I sleep, but I'm still tired.
I'm awake but I don't think.
Music makes my thoughts ramble.
And the very essence of my attitude towards life is destroyed.

Yes, it sucks.

Today Sony went outside, and came back in with a bump on his chin.
I think he fell on it or something cause the swelling is already going down.
Sony also decided to be an evil cat and harass Toshiba -.-
He didn't hurt him, just tried to play with him.
Now, Toshiba is scared, and hiding in his litter.

Otherwise, my day has been crap... actually, that was crap.
So, my whole say has been crap :P
I'm trying to find something interesting.
Just not quite sure what it is -.-

A Little Poem I wrote a while back... I was trying to be fancy :P

The sky was shown on amber wings
As the sun was found
The day was renewed as crystal sings
The moon took it's final bow

I thought I could stand dreaming
Whenever the muse struck me
Her eyes were stern yet loving
As a father to his one sun

I asked her, how shall I strike this match
She spake in a soft tone of motherly match
Give them their wants in less than treaded paths
Give them their dreams in a small, bite-sized batch
For you do not want them to be to full
Less you find yourself also full


For music I show ya' Musicforcap
It's in the same vein as The White Stripes, but... a lot different :P