Today

Today I went to the psychiatrist for a checkup. You know, regular stuff. I talked to him about my constant panic attacks, and he decided that the Prozac was causing them. Weird right?
He took me off Prozac, and put me on Xanax.
Then, my grandmother came in, and talked to him about my problems concentrating.
So, I now have ADHD. Strattera it is.
I'm not sure about the Xanax because I haven't gotten the pills yet.
I'm gonna' be on like... a very small dosage twice a day for that.

The Strattera though.
Oh my.
I've never taken well to ADHD meds, and this one isn't much different.
Loss of appetite is probably my biggest problem with them.
Nausea too.
But, I'm going to keep with it and wait the bad side effects out.
Hopefully it'll help me somehow.

After that my grandmother and I went around to Popeye's to grab some chicken for lunch (I have to eat when I take Strattera right now).
I'd never eaten Popeye's.., and it was alright.
But, the real event of the day came when we went to the pet store to get my grandpa some fish. I was wondering around the store looking for someone to help us with the fish. I walked through the small animals section, and as always I love looking at the hamsters, and cavies, and mice.
But, this time I looked down at a hairless rat!

I thought, "It's so cute. It reminds me of Baldwig (a previous hairless pet).
When I held the rat, it was like, wow, it's so wonderful.
So, I got him, and now his name is Toshiba, and he lives in a 10 gallon aquarium.

And there he is :D
I know the aquarium is kinda' dirty, but he doesn't seem to mind.

My grandpa described him as "Feeling like a foreskin." :(
But... he does... which is weird I guess. O_o

Also, now when Sony looks into his cage I can say "Sony, quit messing with Toshiba."
Yes, I know I'm a geek :P

All in all, my day was good. Very much so.

FUN FACT: Yes, rat's do pass gas... and it smells *-*

Filtered Water And TV

Brita Water Pitcher
If you live in Ennis, these things are so overrated.
I picked one up for 8 bucks at Wal-Mart because they were on sale, and I've been using it for the past monthe.
After a monthe of use, I still get black specks of charcoal (I think that's what it is) in the water, and Ennis water is already softer, and of higher quality than most other places, so it's extremely useless here.
It does make a nice pitcher though. It pours very well compared to other pitchers I've used. Not worth the $15 retail.

But, I found something awesome.
Well, I've know about it for a while, but i just now wanted to talk about it.

Hulu!
Hulu is like, a large database of internet tv shows.
You can watch The Office, or The Colbert Report, or all sorts of other channels from the comfort of you computer screen.
And, if you have a laptop you can watch tv anywhere.
My favorite places:
The Toilet

Not Me :Phttp://www.liewcf.com/blog/wp-images/best-employee.jpg

With Your Best (and let's admit it, only) Friends

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/1/15111/45_2007/3%20laptop%20geeks.preview.jpg

And Of Course, The 6th Dimension

There is no place that solid white in my world!
http://www.imagescience.de/singleparticles_org/school/img/laptop.jpg

Hulu is cool though, with it you can subscribe to your favorite shows. Then, when a new episode comes out for the show, Hulu will notify your account.
I go by Lexxin on it, but I'm not sure if that'll be useful to you :P
 

Today I wanted ya' to take a listening to Qurtis.
It's good. Trust me... would I lie to you?
Actually, don't answer that question.

Today...

I got new school clothes, and shoes.

The clothes are just fine.
They don't sow any logos, or any crap like that.
But, the shoes... they're VANS :(
I hate VANS because of the way they market they're logo.
It's stupid.
I don't skateboard, so it's already annoying to like the skateboard shoes, but, it's already to market a company that's like Hot Topic.
Yes, I put VANS up there with Hot Topic.
It is that bad.

Just like Hot Topic, VANS markets a sub-culture as mainsteam.
And, half the people that are punk/skateboard/etc. don't even care, and buy the shoes still!
That's stupid.

Hot Topic did the same thing on a much larger scale. So, I don't go to Hot Topic.
It's my own personal protest against that sort of mainstreaming.
Not that I'm against mainstream.
I'm against sub-culture's that are against mainstream going mainstream.

So, I took this shoe:


And turned it into this:

Yes, it was easy.
Just had to cut off the logo.

However, the other shoe didn't want the logo to come off.
So, it left a big blot of dried glue.
I think I can fix it.

My Sneaux though (the shoes I have had for a year) have actually been used so much that the suede has come off, and now the shoe feels like leather :D
When I picked it up today, I looked at it funny cause I thought it was one of my grandpa's leather shoes.
:P

"You want to burn it down | So fucking slowly"
Trick Seventeen - Trick Seventeen - You Swank!
Anarcho-Punk FTW!

Meh, Warning: EMO MOMENT

No, that's not a joke.
I'm sick, so I feel god awful.
Plus, my depression has been like on high.
I'd take my medicine to help it, but I don't like the way it makes me feel.
When I take my prozac I feel like... all hyper.
My grandparents think I get hyper on days when I don't take it.
They just don't know I never take it.
But, normally my depression is in check.
I'm actually better.
But, all I can think about is all the people I've hurt (or tried to hurt) because of my depression :|
Then, I get around to thinking about nothing except all the things I've missed out on.
I know I can redeem myself from all that stuff.
It just seems so hard at times.
Why?
Cause I don't even like 60% of the things I missed out on.
I just am full of what if's...

But, what's worse is that the rest of my time is spent thinking about how huge I'm going to seem to all the people at school :(
The people who haven't seen me all summer.
They'll say I still look the same as always.
Some might still tell me to eat.
But, I do that naturally.
140 is my new most hated number.
Guys aren't like this.
And even then I'm recovered.
I always eat.
I don't really want to get stuck in that trap.
Not again.

On another, better, more positive hand, I haven't cut in almost two monthes.
I think this time I might really be through with that.
I mean, I've gone 8 monthes before.
But, I don't collect sharp things anymore.
I can't remember a time before now when I didn't collect sharp stuff.
I still sleep with a razor under my pillow.
But that's because I feel safe with it there
And, I guess I don't literally sleep with one under my pillow.
I think it's somewhere under my bed with sticks of glue from seventh grade, smokes from eighth, and empty beer cans from ninth.

Oh yes, I went there.
I went all the way there :P

Meh, what I'm trying to say is that I've been miserable lately, but all and all, I feel like life is getting better.
I'm probably just having loads of panic attacks and stuff from school starting up again.
In a way, tat's what it all boils down too.

School... is gonna' be strange this year.


Very strange...

Today, I introduce ya' to the beauty of Floppy Dee :D

Oh yeah, I also wanted to say I'm a bit sorry for my last post on "I Hate Twilight". I still agree with a lot of what I said, but, I also realize that saying it was pointless and uneeded.

I HATE TWILIGHT

Yes, I do.
It's the stupidest book I've ever even tried to read, and I must admit.
I couldn't make it through the first chapter without nearly cutting my eyes out.
THat is how dry and lifeless the story is.
And don't tell me the book gets better.
It's so unrealistic that it makes Shrek look like a real encyclopedia of wildlife, and it brings about unrealistic expectations of the world.
Not just people, but the whole world.

Just a quick scan of groups dedicated to the book on facebook shows stupid things like "If you fell in love with Edward". And, worse yet, there is a group saying that vampires or good! WTF?

Out of all the (real) vampires I have met (aka people who take part in drinking blood), they were pretty damn full of themselves.
They weren't bad, no, but, they were jack-a's.

And then, in the event that there was an actual vampire invasion (not that I believe in "real" vampires), atleast a million or two girls and women would be dead because they would try to make the vampires fall in love with them.

And, then, the topic of sex introduced.
Call me conservetive, but sex is not something I agree with in novels that some people refer to as "the bible".
I mean, people that refer to those novels (are any novel other than said holy book) should be sued. It's so wrong that even I have trouble comprehending it.

And, if I have trouble comprhending it, it must be hard to comprhend.

In the end, we have something that is actually un-Christian, and I condemn the reading of this novel for anything except entertainment.
If you refer to it as "the bible", or better then said book.

I CONDEMN YOU.

It's bad if I condemn you.

Trust me, you're at the bottom of the social ladder if I won't even talk to you.

In the end though, this whole thing is (hopefully) just hype.

I asy hopefully because there's still another book full of ways to get killed in a vampire apocalyse to come.

-.-
I feel sorry for those who read this book (assuming there is actually a vampire apocalyse :P

But yeah, out of all the crap in the world the Twilight serious is something I'm actually against.

The Cultural Future Part 2: Make It The Future

If you can remember, I wrote a quick little essay. Mostly about the future of culture due to the Internet. But, I also said the future wasn't all that great looking.
It is actually fairly grim.
Why?
Because, the internet doesn't really bring people together.
It could, but people don't use it correctly.
To understand the correct use of the internet, you have to look at what it was made for.

In the beginning, the internet was a project to bring universities together.
Another thing similar to the Internet (though I would consider it more of a closed transfer system [aka sms]) was used by the military to relay messages, documents, and other various information.

Now, flash forward to the early 90's.
The "internet" begins to find it's way into the mainstream.
Into the homes of people.
The people who build the first sites are obviously governments, organizations, and business.
However, the University students of the 60's, and 70's begin to put the small "university groups" out there in order to bring people together.

If you keep going through to the early 2000's, you find websites like Myspace and Xanga building from the original idea of bringing people together.

Problem with this?
Anybody?
Okay then, people naturally develop into their own group.
It's something most things do. Even nuts in a container seem to segregate in a way so that you have to eat a hundred peanuts just to get one buttery brazil nut.

As is life.

So, people of course built there friends and groups around what they liked.
What they were comfortable with.
This pisses me off.
It's what's going to destroy the internet.
And, it's someday going to ruin us.

Yes, I said ruin.
Big words, yes?

The internet is going to break us into smaller and smaller groups.
Not that we want to, it's just going to cause a whole lot more angst in us.
We're going to find ourselves staying more and more in or comfort range.
And, breaking out of it a whole lot less.
In a way, the internet has brought people together.
But it's really just putting people that are alike together.
That goes against the internet.

The internet was made to give power to the little people.
And to bring all people together.
But, we divide into groups.
So, we just make slightly larger groups that don't exist.

The stereotypes become stronger.
The people learn to hate more.
The internet fails in what it was made to do.

Course, I even do this.
Except, I step out of my comfort range.
Even now, writing this blog post is uncomfortable.
What are people going to think?
Meh, I don't care about that anymore.
I am Tyler, nothing changes that.
I am no group.
I am no stereotype.
I am not one who seeks comfort.
I seek the future.
I seek hope.

And, I know that that is what the internet is about.

Not building groups.
But destroying them.
It's about the people.
Not groups.

So, I close by asking you to step out of your comfort range.
Try new things.
Be somebody else.
Learn something new
Don't be a group.
Be a person.

Realize the dreams of or forefathers.
And fail the stereotypes...

Just because you know you can.

EXPLICT (At times)

My Wants

On a planet known as Earth the world is nothing but a confusing mess
And, it's not the fact that on occasion I find myself to be a pessimist
The Earth is just what it happens to be
A lone planet in a vast universe of nothing

It's not your fault
Oh my I think not
The loneliness makes us wonder, question, want
Is there a world to love other then our own?

We think not
God prevails
He rules the one
The planet Earth
The shining example
Of what life could have been
And yet this is a sample
And not the end
-------------------------------------------------

Seek the sky ever vigilant
Seek your life ever scattered
Find my dream forever knowledgeable
Prepare for death by doing your most wondrous


-------------------------------------------------------------------

They rose from their graves
Nobody knew what to say
They left death in their wake
And yet nobody knew what they should say

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Meh, I got bored.
If you wasted time, you could decode those to figure out more about me ;P
But, w/e.

I always like to think about how much I've changed in the past year.
It's a fun thought
It makes the future so very hopeful.

I've gone from being a selfish, self-centered brat, to a some-what mature person who understands that I make up 90% of my problems.

It's nice to realize that.
I've gone from listening to only "emo" music (and saying all other music sucked), to listening to mostly trance (with the headphones cranked up WAY to loud :D, and metal. But, I love most forms of music (I totally skipped rap on my transition from screamo to techno :P

I've gone from being some freak who "can't take my own freakiness", to a person that is still, yes a freak, but I am because that's who I am, and hey, I'll admit it... I like to see people's reactions to some of the stuff I do ;)
And, getting attetion totally beats the "alternative" ways I used to get attetion. Meh, I guess that stuff is behind me now.
w/e

Anyways, I blog now.
It really helps me release my thoughts.
And, to think that there may actually be a chance for people to see them.
That's always a nice thought

I guess, I can't wait to see what next year brings for me.
9th was such a great year for me.
It totally brought me back to perspective of what I really wanted and needed in life.
Which was great.

So, here's to a (hopefully) 'nother great year ^-^



This light rant brought to you by:

PERI MENTAL! :D

mucho trance

The NEW facebook

Cause all the big blogs talk about it :P

Yeah, I have finally gotten the new facebook redesign.
To say the least it is quite cool.
But, it takes a little bit to get used to the very dramatic change.
And, compared to other facebook redesigns this ones is dramatic.

It's good though that they didn't add anything stupid.
The made annoyances go away with the "boxes" tab.
Which is nice.
I'm sure though, that some people will confused as to where their "Fish Friend app" is.

Not that that's a real app.
That's just the sort of stupid things people.
I've grown out of that kind of stuff I guess.
I'm happy with my blog, flickr, iLike, and the other basic-ish stuff.
Lots of people aren't.
meh.

I think I covered my viewpoint on the new facebook (It's awesome after a quick period of getting used to it)

But, I shall leave you.
Blogging Later
~Tyler

The Cultural Future: PART 1

The future is, and will always be, a fun topic to think about.
"What's going to happen in the future?" has to be one of the most open questions that man can ask themselves.
But, why is it so open ended?
It is because we simply can not begin to understand the full amount of variables in effect for such a question.
We can only make choices, and we can only have thoughts.


I, like most humans, have thoughts of the future of humanity.
Me being culturally inclined, I mostly question classes, systems, traditions.

The thing that will happen first is probably that we as people will enter a state of "voluntary surveillance".
I can only think about how blogging and Myspace/Facebook has shaped my idea of "privacy".
Over the past few years, I have believed less and less that privacy existed, and the more I blog, the more I think privacy was a stupid idea to begin with.
I now believe that if there's something you don't want people to know or see, obviously it should have been done.
My concept of right and wrong has begun to be shifted into something along the lines of "If you don't want somebody to know something, that something was wrong or incorrect, or at the least, improper."
From my knowledge, there is a growing trend towards, instead of against this.
It is, to say the least very different from the way our parents and grandparents used to live.
Why are we becoming like that though?

It's easy to assume that it's because of the internet, and Myspace, and Facebook, and blogs.
But, I think it's something deeper.
I think it's something that's been bubbling into our culture for a long time. But, the internet has turned that bubbling brook into a rushing river.
What is it?
The need for free.

It of course started in the 60's and 70's with things like "Free Love", and the "Hippies" trying to find ways to live aside from the government's often overpowering laws. Home-school, rebellion, modern rock, drugs, love, angst.
All these things (and of course more) shaped this era. This era that includes most of our very parents.
It is the era of people wanting to be people.
Instead of how in the past people wanted to be a nation.

Now, people began to seek societies that were then, and now, only dreamed of.
Utopia.
Pure, and perfect Communism.
Lots of people say "Capitalism is the best form of economy."
But, the fact is that Communism is and always will be the perfect government.
But, as humans pure Communism without corruption is, by all means, a near impossibility.

But then, in the early 90's another world began to emerge.
This world is the one we know as the internet.
And, it is very quickly on it's way to becoming a socialist world.
And, socialism is the middle ground between Capitalism and Communism.

As people are allowed to edit the very internet, and as editing the web becomes easier and easier, classes begin to be broken. On the internet, I can talk to Stephen Hawkins, I can look a the daily life of Bill Gates, and nearly everything on the web can be found for free (though at times through questionable means).
Anybody, at anytime, can all of a sudden find their blog shut down because to many people want to see it.
That my friend, is fame.
And, on the internet, anybody can get a devoted fan-base.

But, even with all of this, chances are there will be a downfall.
Internet will probably not succeed, and the social world probably will suffer more from the internet than it has gained.

I'll talk about that more tomorrow on "The Cultural Future: Part 2"
Until then, toodles :)

Can't sleep...

And so I blog :p

Like I say, "It's what I do."

Ever since, 7th grade I've pretty much blogged.
Until like I got a Myspace I didn't blog often though.
lol, I've never deleted a blog either, so if I looked around a bit I could (probably) find some of those older blogs.
I always liked blogs because of that.
The ability to not lose information.
My friend, that is a gift for my bad memory :D

Anyways, today I have learned that Last.FM sucks now, twitter is addictive, I can't get "winks", and that Pandora Radio is my new favorite online - music site (not counting Jamendo of course). I wish Jamendo would hurry up and get integrated with Firefox, and Facebook. Then I'd really be rolling.

Yes, I said rolling :p
Anyways, I want to talk about Pandora real quick.

This is a really useful, fun site.
It is online radio that you edit.
Best yet, what you listen to isn't based off genres, but instead a complicated list of musical elements.
So, your music is divided up better.
What's best about it though is that you can share your radio station.

It's fun because I'm trying to "custom build" a radio station for different people.
Like, right now I'm making a "Lightly Hardcore" which is pretty much stuff like "The Used", or "My Chemical Romance".
Tomorrow I might try to make an "Indie Rock" station.
That's why it's fun. It can be challenging to decide what qualifies as "Lightly Hardcore" and not "Hardcore", and stuff like that.

So, check out Pandora.
Also, I go by "TLo667" on Pandora.

So, that was a Web2.0 app I wanted to show you.
Hope ya' check it out.

And maybe Twitter.
People should know about Twitter :p


I don't have much else to say.
Tomorrow I'm going to the movies (I think) with my aunt.
meh, I don't like going to movies.
But, I get to see Hell Boy 2! :D
I can go for that.

Oh yeah, my grandpa's (said) that he was going to try and go 30 days without illegally downloading stuff :D
I nearly had a panic attack trying to explain why I thought illegally downloading stuff was wrong, so I'm happy 'bout that.

blessing is a good pop rock band... it's all in French, but I find that I can really enjoy the emotional feeling in the music.

Me again

Just wanted to say that I'm bored.

And, the fact is that I'm going to ACTUALLY switch TO Facebook.

If any of my friends on Myspace don't like that I'll give them two options: Suck It Up, or At least try to learn how to use Facebook.
It's not like it's all that hard or anything.
If I figured it all out in a day I think the average person could figure it out in 3.

So, that's it really.
Cold in my house, I'm bored, it's late :p

Also, I do post blogs fairly often (at least on Myspace I posted upwards of a hundred and something in a year).
So, I am compulsive about it.
Sometimes I post sad things, happy things, interesting things, under crap.
Course, as I've been getting more and more used to the web2.0 stuff, I post more and more important things, and less personal things.
W/E

It's probably a waste of time explaining myself :p

Also, I use these sites more to whore my blogs (I'll admit it), and as every human I have a sub-conscious (Is it really sub-conscious if you realize it) need to be noticed... which, now that I think about it is very against the nature of most things.
Anyways, I like comments on my blog :D
So, if you read it, comment it :p
A quote I very much like is "Comments are crack for bloggers"
That is VERY true.

So, that is a run down of me in the internet sense.
lol

MUSIC:

I love Atomic Cat.
VERY great Trance/Club/House DJ from France. As always you can download the music for free LEGALLY if you want.
I want somebody to look in my face, think about 60% of the rave music out there, and then tell me that nothing good came from France :p

I want to learn French, and move to France... or San Fransisco... or maybe Seattle. Whichever, I still want to learn French so I can understand some of my music :]